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Leaked Documents: A Letter from Patrick to our old brewhouse

I’ll miss you, old friend. I found you in a field in Windsor, CA, when you thought you were long past the point of ever boiling wort again. You turned batches in the sleepy town of Hopland for over a decade, all to be rejected by the lumberjack brewers of Mendocino County who you thought were your friends. You were ripped out of the building that gave you life, rode hard and put away wet. You were abandoned, dejected, willing G-d to put you out of your misery. Then I came along. I saw potential, I saw something I could afford. That open grant was a turn on. You were simple. Grass was growing underneath you and inside of you. The rust and the absence of legs didn’t bother me. Your storied history made you interesting— I didn’t look down on you for it. I’ve never been embarrassed of you, though at times I did make jokes at your expense. I’m sorry about that. The point is… back in 2007 I saw your potential, but I never fathom the places we’d get together. You were the experienced one in our relationship— you brought me to places I’d never thought I’d reach. With you, we won six medals at the Great American Beer Festival and six medals at the World Beer Cup. You guided a band of brewers through saccharification and isomerization thousands of times— these fellas will never forget climbing inside of you.

We had our share of yeast infections, but we cleaned you up, and you proved yourself loyal. You’re all polished up, as beautiful as a thirty-three year old brewhouse could be. The fellas at Third Window Brewing Co. are ready to receive you. I remember you telling me you always wanted to visit Santa Barbara… well, here’s your chance. My friend, Kris Parker, will take care of you and give you a third chance at life. You remember Kris, right? I think he has greater admiration for you than I do, and that’s saying something. You’re rough around the edges, you require a lot of manual manipulation, but the sweet wort that flows from you is second to none. I promise to visit. Love, Patrick

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